A Summary.

I take each pill for specific side effects, which reassure of my health in turn, yet only temporarily.
When they die away, do not attempt and assure me with words.
I cannot hear.
During time, I have become incapable of listening.
My body carries what it can, and when it breaks, my excuses are loaded and fired like bullets.
I cannot blame myself for breaking, lest I lose hold of all I have left.
I would run to the ends of the earth to remove myself from this if I could.
You cannot make me happy.
Nothing can make my fear be still, it can only drown in the wake.
I wish to be immobilized by apathy, rather than slowly cracked by the weight of the world until I am reduced to fragments.
Never did I think the day would come when only apathy, that which I once loathed, would set me free.
And then, will I really be free?
One cannot be free, yet tied, dead and weighted, watching the world through apathetic eyes.
I must find something new as hours pass, to attach myself to and allow it to carry me day to day.
But slowly, steadily, I am running dry of things to believe in.
Perhaps apathy alone cannot keep my head above water after all.