Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Self Searching.
I am happy.
It used to be that when I went out for something as simple as a walk, I was trying to walk towards something. Something I wanted and needed. I didn't know what it was, but I would get up and leave what I was doing to walk and walk and walk with absolutely no enjoyment, until I stopped, sorely disappointed in not finding the nothing that I was looking for, and going back. It was the same way with dreams. Ever since I was young I had a recurring dream that I was looking for a dog for someone I barely knew. One day, recently, I had the dream and found the dog. And I haven't had it since. Maybe I didn't need to find anything, but if I did, whatever it was, I found it. I think what I needed to find most was myself. I needed to really see myself. I needed to stop having so many false ideals and just embrace what I am and learn to embrace what I will be.
Now, I'm just dreaming.
Now, I am just going for a walk.
It used to be that when I went out for something as simple as a walk, I was trying to walk towards something. Something I wanted and needed. I didn't know what it was, but I would get up and leave what I was doing to walk and walk and walk with absolutely no enjoyment, until I stopped, sorely disappointed in not finding the nothing that I was looking for, and going back. It was the same way with dreams. Ever since I was young I had a recurring dream that I was looking for a dog for someone I barely knew. One day, recently, I had the dream and found the dog. And I haven't had it since. Maybe I didn't need to find anything, but if I did, whatever it was, I found it. I think what I needed to find most was myself. I needed to really see myself. I needed to stop having so many false ideals and just embrace what I am and learn to embrace what I will be.
Now, I'm just dreaming.
Now, I am just going for a walk.
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