A Long Week In Unfortunate Review.

"This too, shall pass."
I felt as if I was emerging from an exhausting coma, seeing the world again like I did when I was someone else, and now it's as though you're forcing me back in.
I didn't want it to be this way.
The minute I sensed a storm I jumped ship, and found what I was looking for. I was trying to avoid the thunder and the turbulence I knew I would face if I continued on the same path.
I found lovely people, people who accepted me. I hoped that we would quietly continue down different paths, navigate to happiness, because I sensed the tension. I knew when it wasn't the same.
It didn't turn out that way. You did not agree with my decision. It sparked anger and lies and I was shocked at how you had hurt me. Yet the more I retreated, the more I provoked you. I was caught. All I could do was be the bigger person. I told myself I couldn't let the immaturity that was radiating all around me get to me, affect me. So I gave in to something I no longer felt the same for.
And everything I was trying to seperate came together, and now I am threatened.
At first, I believed it was better this way. Better to possibly weaken bonds with those I love in order to prevent such harsh words.
And yet they continued, I can tell. I know they did and it can't be hidden.
I've seen more than that. You can't fool me.
And now I am threatened because another bond was formed. Those who I love dearly, who I had re-discovered happiness with, have now become infatuated with those who have essentially turned against me, no matter what I do.
And there is nothing more I can do, and it is magnified by the fact that I let you back in and you left me with nowhere to turn.
I can feel the bonds weakening, I can feel myself being cast out at sea again. And I am drowning.
I am drowning in exhaustion. I am drowning in weight I have put on, weight that represents all I have to carry now. I bear it on myself in ugly pounds, as though even my clothing has told me I'm not good enough, it can't be seen with me because it heard what you said.
I am terrified that your words will spread like wildfire and those I trusted will hear and believe them, and I will be left alone.
I am drowning in weight and exhaustion, and I am lost again in my coma.
You win.
You've broken me, just like you wanted.
I hope you're happy, because there is nothing left of me to give.
I'm gone again. I miss myself, I wasn't back for nearly long enough before you forced me inside again.