I Never Meant Any Harm To You.

I can't handle this.
I love you all but we've ended up broken and I don't know what to do about it anymore.
I feel hated, like a black sheep or something.
I know that all these little things are about me. I know people talk.
I talk, but I don't talk to be a bitch. I talk because I'm scared and I'm reaching out to people. If I could talk straight to you I would, believe me. But you won't even look at me.
I still love you.
I'm never going to like what's happening but I can't stop you so I'm not going to try, but I absolutely refuse to be left out because I make good choices. That's the bottom line. I also think that people think I have a hard time being happy for them, that I think I'm better and that I think the things I accomplish are the only ones that matter. I don't feel that way and if I came across that way, that's really unfortunate. I try to make myself feel better about how much more amazing you all are than me. I was never praised growing up, everything went unnoticed and I guess I learned to be that way myself. I think you're all unbelievably talented people.
I love you all.
I feel like my best friends are habouring resentment and underlying feelings of dislike for me.
It's making me hate myself.